Social Skills

• The Only RIGHT Way to Teach Literature

  16 May 2012 / High School, Literature, Personal Growth, Social Skills, Study Skills / 9 Comments

  Literature is such an important core academic class in high school for homeschoolers as well as the rest of the population.  I have reached a conclusion after many years of teaching my own children high school literature and teaching classes for hundreds of homeschooled high schoolers in our area:

  

  There is only ONE RIGHT WAY to teach literature.

  I am going to share that way with you now.

  I know this is the ONE RIGHT WAY because I can fast-forward the scene and enjoy where it takes me.  Let me explain:

  Any time we make a choice, we are creating consequences in our own life story.  Think of your life story burned onto a DVD, and hit the fast-forward button.....where will you find yourself down the road as the result of this choice?  Are you satisfied with the outcome you can foresee?  (Thank you, Dr. Henry Cloud, for the idea of playing your life forward!)

  If I teach my homeschooler literature in the traditional way, I will choose books that are recommended reading for high school at various grade levels, and I will choose them whether I actually understand the value of those books myself or not.  In other words, someone else chooses my child's book list; I don't know who this person is, but he or she established the curriculum I bought or created a list of books that appeared on the internet and sounded authoritative.

  Then, when my student reads those books, we will look for the commonly respected themes in the story, we will memorize the pivotal moments in the plot,  we will recognize the universally accepted symbolism in the story, and finally, we will produce a piece of writing based on a prompt someone put forth as a "good topic" for writing about this book.

  When we are all done and I play the scene forward in my mind, I see my grown child at a dinner party with colleagues someday where someone mentions the book title.  "Ah yes!  I read that book in high school, too."  The discussion that continues will find everyone sharing very similar experiences they had with the book, the primary focus for actual conversation being who liked the book and who didn't.  All I will have taught my child with this traditional method is to memorize what others have decided is valuable about a piece of writing, to articulate someone else's observations about it, and to decide whether or not it was fun to do those things.

  

  Here is the ONE RIGHT WAY to teach high school literature:

  * Choose for yourselves.  Whether you create your child's book list or you collaborate on the task, choose books that you want to immerse yourselves in.  What do you want to spend time talking about in the car?  What topics will interest you around the dinner table?  Choose books that will feed into that conversation.  Recommended reading lists are a great place to get IDEAS for books to read, but they are not definitive.  There is no book that MUST be read for a child to graduate from high school.

  * Read with your brain turned on.  It is important to pay attention to the story, the characters and the themes as you read, and a literature study guide is an irreplaceable tool if you or your student struggles to stay focused while reading.  (Check out 7 Sisters' ever-growing collection of $3.99 study guides on many classic works of literature.)  The author put those elements in there for a reason, so read aloud, or read more than once, or read with study helps at your side....whatever way enables you to read with your brain engaged.

  * Read with your SPIRIT turned on.  Knowing what the author put into the book is not enough.  It's so exciting to uncover what GOD put into the book, and reading with an attitude of openness to His agenda for us reveals those things.  Ask God to show Himself in what you are reading.  Even books by godless authors frequently contain illustrations of spiritual truth; God uses the most unlikely vessels.

  * Talk about what you've read.  Have meaningful conversations about books instead of oral review sessions.  Don't quiz your child to see if he completed the assigned chapters; TALK TO HIM about what is grabbing him in the reading.  Encourage him to articulate WHY it's grabbing him.  There are no wrong answers when you are discussing a piece of literature.

  * Allow your writing assignments to grow out of these conversations.  If you use a writing prompt you find from someone else to get you started, that's fine, but only if the prompt is a good fit for the conversation you've already been having.  If your child saw something really out-of-the-norm when she read the book, and she can articulate it and support her observations with examples from the book, GOOD FOR HER!  You don't even have to see it yourself; if she can write about it intelligently, she might be able to convince you that you simply missed those things when you were reading the same book!

  Fast-forward the scene in your mind:  ten years down the road my grown child is at a dinner party with colleagues where someone mentions a book title.  "Ah yes!  I read that book in high school, too."  Now imagine how rich the ensuing conversation will be.

  While many others in the circle "learned" the same things from that book, my child will be able to share from his personal encounter with the book.  He can INTRODUCE IDEAS that were stirred in him.  He can SHARE STORIES of how he was changed by that reading experience.  And he can EXTEND A CHALLENGE to the people around him to turn on their brains and their spirits in a deeper way the next time they pick up a book.
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• How to be a Great Homeschool Grad Party Guest

  11 May 2012 / Helping Others, High School, Holidays, Social Skills, The Home / 13 Comments

  To follow up on Allison's post on how to throw a homeschool graduation party. Here's her sister, Sabrina's ideas on how to be a great grad party guest:

   

  

  These next few weeks are filled with graduation parties in most of our world. Here are a few tips for enjoying those you attend as a guest (for tips on how to HOST a fabu party, see Allison's post How to Throw a Homeschool Graduation Party):

  * Most graduation parties are "open house" style which means your arrival time is not specific. Read the invitation carefully to be sure this is the case, but if it is, plan to come right near the beginning if you can and offer to help the hostess set up last-minute items or carry food out from the kitchen. That last-minute rush is stressful for a lot of hostesses, and if you come with your sleeves rolled up ready to help her, it will also relax her!

  * When offering to help, be sure you really mean it. Before you volunteer, put your pocketbook down and use the bathroom if you need to. THEN offer. Chances are your hostess has a million things running through her mind, and she will more easily put you to work right away if she sees you are ready to jump in.

  

  * Visit with the people you know, but try to introduce yourself to a couple of groups who are new to you. Graduation parties tend to be a mix of family, friends, and church....there are always a few folks you haven't met before. It's great to spend an hour with your closest friends, but it's also great to spend 5 minutes reaching out to someone new.

  * Most graduation parties are for families....whole families are invited instead of just one or two people. So if your younger children are also partying with you, remind them of good social skills before you arrive, and keep a half-an-eye on them during the party as well. If you notice their behavior getting a little too rambunctious, take them aside and gently remind them that "This is someone's home, and you need to treat it with respect," (or "That little girl may be annoying, but pouring lemonade down her back is rude"....etc.). There's nothing more awkward than being the hostess and agonizing over a child who is behaving badly while the parent is oblivious.

  * Greet the grad, but don't monopolize his time. He has probably invited a lot of people to this party, and while he wants to thank each person for coming, he can't do that if he has to have a 1/2 hour conversation with each one about his future plans. Keep things light and brief. If he can talk to you more later, he'll find you.

  

  * Clean up using common sense. Sometimes there are plastic cups all over the backyard. You can safely assume that if the party is winding down, the hostess would love to see the cups picked up and thrown away. You probably don't have to find her and ask for plastic cup protocol. Near the end of the party, the hostess is often exhausted, and may finally be sitting down to enjoy some food herself, and if you come and ask her something as simple as that, she may feel that SHE should get up and do it. If you just use common sense, you will probably be offering real help, and leaving her tired brain out of it.

  Just like 7 Sisters blogs are more fun when everyone comments, graduation parties are more fun when everyone pitches in to keep them running smoothly. Unlike a formal dinner party or reception, a graduation party is a great time for casual fellowship and working shoulder to shoulder to set up and clean up.

  Congratulations to all our homeschool grads, and happy partying!

  For working on social skills with younger kids, check out our Social Skills for Children.

  Got any funny graduation party stories?

• Review: Young Peacemaker Curriculum

  09 March 2012 / Healthy Living, Helping Others, High School, Middle School, News, Social Skills / 0 Comment

  We've been discussing character-shaping curriculum this week. Today, I'd like to review a curriculum based on the blessed peacemakers that Jesus mentioned in the Sermon on the Mount. (This is not a sponsored post, we just like to share about curriculum that we like.)

  The Young Peacemaker by Corlette Sande is a user-friendly conflict resolution curriculum that I used with a group of young homeschool high schoolers several years ago. I was impressed with Corlette's sensible and Christlike approach to handling conflict.

  The curriculum includes light-hearted comic books that help to build skills in areas like diffusing conflicts, recognizing problem situations, and self-monitoring. There is a marvelous teacher's manual that has reproducibles (this is what I mostly used).

  Some character-developing curricula are preachy. The Young Peacemaker is not preachy, but rather, it is fun, accessible and practical. The real-life skills it teaches are based on a biblical model of confession, forgiveness, communication, and character development.

  While I used it with young high schoolers, homeschoolers in middle school would be the perfect audience.

  What are your favorite character-developing curricula?

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  For young children: Good tools for developing good social skills and learning readiness from 7 Sisters:                                                                                               

  Social Skills for Children- A group of 10 interactive exercises for developing great social skills in children (elementary age and up). Fun, quick, and easy to do. Download for $3.99.

  A Developmental Approach to Teaching Kindergarten- A 21-page guide to slowing down and enjoying kindergarten while strengthening developmentally-appropriate skills. (This is how I homeschooled kindergarten with my children.) Download today for $3.99.

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  While it isn't QUITE character development, here's Sabrina's take on Ballroom Dance Lessons. (BTW- if you can count self-confidence as a character trait, ballroom dance builds character through building confidence.)
   

   

   

   

   

• Short-term Homeschooling to Help a Bullied Child

  26 February 2012 / Homeschool Information, News, Personal Growth, Social Skills / 6 Comments

  In my work as a counselor, I often help children who are being bullied at school work to become bully-proof. Sometimes the problem seems to have reached crisis proportions and the parents decide to remove their child from the toxic environment and homeschool for a season.

  I was tickled when I ran across an essay in Psychology Today called Mean Girls and Homeschooling Moms. In the article, Laura Brodie, an instructor at Washington and Lee University, discussed a trend she has noticed: when children are being persistently bullied at school (despite the school administration's best efforts to stop it), some parents are bringing their children home for their education.

  She noted the story of Katrina Stonof, author of the Stone Soup book blog, who brought her elementary-aged son home after repeated bullying (name calling, teasing, being stuffed into a trash can). She homeschooled her son for several months, later enrolling him in a charter school.

  Brodie also told the story of Beth and Shari, who moved to a new town when Shari was starting middle school. The first year went fine, but by 7th grade, she became the target of a particularly sly and cruel group of girls. She was pushed, had clothes stolen, was harrassed by phone, and more. At one point the police were involved. Alert teachers and administration could not stop it. Finally, Beth brought Shari home to finish out the school year.

  This is what Beth had to say:

  "By taking her out of the situation and homeschooling, we showed Shari that she was the most important factor in this equation. We love her and would do anything for her. It enabled her to take a breather, to let her figure out what she was made of, to role play and learn how to say "back off b****" (oh yes, we taught her many fabulously foul phrases), and to grow as a person and gain her self confidence back (totally absent at this point). It may not be right in every situation or for every family, but it was right for Shari." (www. Psychology Today)

  In my 16 years as a homeschool advisor, I have worked with some families who made this choice for their bullied child. Sometimes the student takes the chance to get back on his/her feet emotionally and then heads back to school. Often, the family becomes immersed in the supportive homeschool culture, loves it, and never returns to a traditional school.

  Either way, the parents were brave enough (and had the resources and support) to help out their suffering child.

  Have you ever had that experience?

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  Sometimes a bullied child looses confidence in himself. One way to help restore that confidence is to arm him with specific social skills. Our Social Skills for Children teaches 10 important social behaviors to help empower children. The skills are taught by role play with the parent and then peers. Fun and easy and only $3.99.

   

  Now, for the GOOD stuff. Here is Sabrina's vlog talking about character-building curriculum:

   
  
   

• What Makes a Drama Camp Amazing?

  14 February 2012 / Fine Arts, Personal Growth, Relationships, Social Skills, Stories / 1 Comment

  For the last 12 years, I have offered a Drama Camp for homeschoolers every summer.

  

  Final Curtain Call: that moment when my eyes always leak

  A Drama Camp is a theater intensive.  That means it's a chance to put most of the rest of life on hold for a few days and focus on the production exclusively, rather than the traditional format that stretches rehearsals out over 8 - 10 weeks in chunks of a few hours at a time.

  When I began offering Drama Camps to homeschooled students in 2000, I was making things up as I went along, learning as we muddled through.  Our early productions (I like to write original plays for the kids to do, but you can certainly direct a camp without also being a playwright) were put together in ONE week, not two, and produced a 45 minute show.

  We grew and stretched, and eventually were working for ONE week and producing a full-length two-hour show!  That's when I realized that there was too much good stuff going on to cram it all into one week, and I expanded our format to two weeks so that the kids would have time to explore the deeper layers of acting and stage production.  I told you that to tell you this:  Drama Camps offer an arena in which students can find out just how much they are truly capable of accomplishing when they work hard and work together. 

  But why the drama??  Human beings have a need for stories.  We observe our own life-story being written all around us every day.  We learn about other people as they share their stories with us.  Jesus used story-telling to communicate truth about God and life when He was ministering on the earth.  Drama production is a beautiful way to tell stories, and Drama Camps offer unique benefits to those involved in the story-telling process on stage.

  Here's why Drama Camp has been jokingly called "The Weeks When Life Has Meaning" :

  • We anticipate.  Students who have been involved in the past begin looking forward to Camp months in advance, and talk to the newbies they know who are thinking about giving it a try.  They set the bar high long before I have even finished my own plans for Camp!  They anticipate a week of personal growth, hard work, and tremendous accomplishment.

  • We pray.  We pray together before every day of camp, and we spend significant chunks of time praying for and with one another as we draw close to performance, but the prayer begins long before the sign-up sheet is full of names.  I pray for God to bring the right group of kids together for the plan He has for our Camp.  He knows what we all need better than we do!  I pray over the script-writing and editing process, asking God to tell the stories that will change our lives according to His plan.  Prayer is da bomb!

  • We focus.  When students sign up for Camp, I warn them that the rest of life needs to be pretty much set aside for the two weeks of Drama Camp.  They will be at the theater Monday through Friday from 9:00 - 3:00, but at night they will be learning lines, researching for the production, pulling together props and costumes, working with their fellow cast members, etc.  Laying aside other things that we typically enjoy for the sake of a special endeavor is a great way to get your mind and heart open to hear from the Lord.  Similar to the experience of going away on retreat, that change in life-pattern opens us up spiritually.

  • We are unified.  The students are constantly challenged and reminded that they must be operating in unity for Camp to be a success.  They pray for one another.  They work alongside kids they may not like very much, and they learn to love them whether they like them or not.  They pick up the slack for each other when one is tired, or struggling, or frustrated.  Each Camper is vitally important to the production, and we teach that through words and example.  Everyone completes the camp knowing on a deeper level that God made them unique and wonderful, and He has a place for them in the body of Christ that no one else can occupy.

  If you are interested in Drama (or have a homeschooler who is), I will be publishing a couple of white papers and putting them in the EBookstore as free downloads in the next week or two.  Click here to download "Why Drama is Important in Your Homeschool,"  and check back soon to take advantage of even more freebies.

  If the idea of directing an intensive two-week Drama Camp intrigues you, a manual and instructional DVD set will be released in March in the EBookstore.

  Drama has proven to be such a good vehicle for social and spiritual development in the students I've directed in Drama Camps!

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  Have you ever downloaded from our EBookstore before?  It's so easy!!

  Give it a try by taking advantage of the FREE downloads available, and find out how convenient the .pdf format and instant delivery are.  Click here to conquer your fears of technology, and download an epublication from 7 Sisters today!

  The new white paper "Why Drama Is Important in Your Homeschool" is a FREE download.  Click here to check it out!
  

• Group Discussions: Helping Teens Hear Each Other

  20 December 2011 / News, Personal Growth, Relationships, Social Skills, Study Skills / 1 Comment

  I'm a big believer in getting students to talk about what they are learning.  For a lot of students, this verbal process is a huge help in cementing the concepts they are studying in their schoolwork.  For ALL students, this social skill of group discussion is a step in equipping them for life.

  Here are some techniques I've found to be really helpful in guiding groups of students in dicussion:

  * Remember that a variety of personalities are in the room, and tell the kids that before you start.  Just like in a group of adults, some kids are naturally quiet and just enjoy listening more than talking, some kids love the "spotlight" that comes with sharing their ideas, some are unsure about the quality of what they have to offer in the discussion, etc.  By telling them up front, "We're going to talk about __________, and it's important for everyone in the group to respect the personalities of everyone else here.  If you know you love to talk in these situations, look around the room and notice the kids who are usually quiet.  Be patient while quieter folks decide how they want to share their thoughts.  I expect everyone to participate before we are finished, but for some of you this is easy and for others it's like having your teeth drilled.  That's okay!  If we all have the same goal in mind -- a discussion in which EVERYONE has a chance to participate -- it will be okay."

  *Lay this rule out and stick to it faithfully:  THERE ARE NO WRONG ANSWERS.  We are not quizzing one another to see who understands this idea the best.  We are hearing from each other about the many varied ways we have, as individuals, understood the idea.  We all have something to learn from each other's peceptions.

  * Resist the urge to go around the room in order.  There are other ways to keep track of whether or not everyone has participated.  Going around the room in order requires students to say SOMETHING when it's their turn, whether that point in the discussion sparks them to feel that they actually HAVE something to say or not.

  * Keep the tone light.  Even if the subject matter is weighty, identify with the humor that can be found in almost any situation.  However, be sure that the humor is NEVER directed at a student.  Keep it general or aimed at yourself.  If the kids see that you can chuckle at yourself, it becomes safer for them to express themselves...but if they see you tease a student (even with good intentions), they are instantly more cautious.

  * When a student loves to talk just a little TOO much, curb their spotlight-time while validating their enthusiasm.  Saying something like, "Hold on a second, Patti....you got SO much good stuff to share out of this assignment that I'm afraid the rest of us will start looking lame by comparison!  Can you hold off and let us hear from somebody else for a bit?"

  * Reflect what students say, and teach them to reflect as well.  Reflective listening is saying what a student just said back to him or her before you agree or disagree with his or her opinion.  For example, "So you think Sydney Carton had in mind all along to take Darnay's place at the guillotine?  That's an interesting thought.  I'm not sure I saw it that way, but now I'm going to have to think about it some more."  It validates the student's thought process even if they reached a conclusion that no one else in the group shares.  You will be amazed at how quickly your more socially mature students begin to use reflection themselves as they respond to their peers.  That type of modeling then spreads the technique to the whole group.

  * Give the group a framework for how the discussion will go.  If they are discussing an assignment they did independently, sometimes allowing them to hold their homework is empowering.  However, encourage them not to simply read the answer they wrote down.  Discussion is more than reporting your answers to one another.  If they don't need to hold their homework, at least jot a simple outline of the topics you want to touch on, or verbally give them an overview of where the discussion will go.  Reluctant students will be more comfortable if they know that the first two topics are ones they prefer not to address, but the third topic is one they are looking forward to discussing, and they can "get their courage up" knowing that their moment is on its way.

  We need to remember that healthy participation in a group discussion is not a natural skill for most people - it is learned.  (How many Sunday school classes or work meetings have you sat in that illustrate this truth?)  We can be intentional and encouraging in preparing our kids for good group discussion skills no matter their personality.  It will serve them the rest of their lives.

  Your turn:  Do you find group discussion easy or difficult?  What tips can you share to help us ALL become better group discussion participants?

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  Talking to God is so much easier than talking to a group of peers!  But even so, our prayer life can become stale and need some new ideas.  Vicki Tillman wrote Prayer Journals I & II for this very purpose.  Her ideas are founded in specific scriptures and practical.  This week, they're also only half-price!  Visit the EBookstore to download your copy for $4.99 today!

• Review: 4 Favorite Books of Book Lists for Homeschoolers

  30 November 2011 / Curricula, Fine Arts, Geography, Literature, News, Science, Social Skills, Teaching / 1 Comment

  

  These Tillmans started our family's homeschooling 2 decades ago

  I love to homeschool my kids using real books.

  Over the 24 years I've been homeschooling, we've probably read a gazillion books together or separately as part of our history, science, literature, art, and music courses. (Actually, I figured it is probably 2000.)

  How do you find books on whatever topic you need? I use books of book lists. Here are my 4 favorite:

  The Newbery & Caldecott Books in the Classroom by Claudetter Hegel Comfort

  This useful book has lists of the winners (my edition goes through 1995, since it is so old). It also has some questions and activities for many of the books. I've used this copy until it is in tatters.

  I think Newbery books are very, very important to read. Most are great historical fiction that illustrate times, locations, and cultures in a manner that textbooks never could. Even in high school, we read Newberys.

   Let the Authors Speak- A Guide to Worthy Books Based on Historical Settingby Carolyn Hatcher

  This is my favorite. (I borrowed it from Marilyn about 15 years ago. *ahem*)

  I have used this book each year to find books for my homeschoolers in history and literature classes. This wonderful guide lists books by:

  -reading level                                                          

  -setting/location

  

  Youngest Tillman caught NOT reading at the moment

  -time period

  -author

  -title

  Someday, I'll have to buy Marilyn a new copy...                                                                                

  U.S. History Through Children's Literature (2 editions- Colonial Period to WWII, Post-WWII) by Wanda J. Miller

  I just found these groovy books. Each has a reading list with some questions and activities for each book- a good place to start.

  Booklists are valuable resources for homeschooling moms. Do you have a favorite book or website with booklists?

  BTW- This is not a sponsored post. We just like to share resources...

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  Don't forget to download your FREE copy of the 7 Sisters Study Guide for A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. This quick, easy guide helps explain the book. It  includes vocabulary and questions. It is FREE THIS WEEK ONLY- download it today.

• Teach Your Teenager to Handle Injustice

  08 October 2011 / Healthy Living, Personal Growth, Relationships, Social Skills / 4 Comments

  There's that wonderful moment early in the movie "The Lion King" when Scar, nasty ol' villain that he is,  talks to his soon-to-be lunch and says, "Life's not fair; I shall never be king, and you shall never see the light of another day."  The drawl of Scar's British accent (and the fact that the little mouse does, indeed, escape his claws to see the light of another day) almost makes him sound noble in his observation.

  

  Sam's had to deal with a lot of tough situations working in customer service at a retail store!

  We spend a lot of time and energy teaching our little kids to play according to what is fair.

  • Take turns.
  • Don't butt in line.
  • If you don't have enough for everyone...

  When these rules of childhood justice are violated by someone else, we talk to our children about the fact that what happened was wrong, but are we careful to teach them HOW to handle it when injustice stares them in the face?  And do we give them opportunities to practice handling injustice?

   

  I regularly taught my kids to turn the other cheek and refuse to respond when they experienced injustice.  Much of the time that instruction served them well, because they needed to exercise self-control over their own selfish impulses, but from time to time what I really taught them was to stand by and quietly allow sin to reign unchecked.

  As they got older, they were good at overlooking minor injustices, but I began to realize that they weren't very good at addressing the greater ones.  Instead, they had the doormat approach and just "took it."

  When my son Sam was 14, he got a job cutting grass for a neighbor.  Although my husband had helped Sam negotiate the deal (what would be paid for what specific tasks), as the weeks passed the neighbor became more and more demanding and unreasonable, requiring all sorts of extra tasks to be done before she would pay the agreed upon amount.  Eventually she began yelling and screaming at Sam, and I was in a dither over what to do.

  I wanted to fly over there and take my kid away from that mean lady and give her a piece of my mind!  At the same time a part of me also wanted to somehow pray for Sam to have super-human abilities to actually get done every single thing that she wanted to prove that he was a good worker and that he could go the extra mile.  Basically, I just wanted the situation to not be there at all.

  My husband's approach was different.  He talked to Sam about the importance of respectfully firing your boss if the situation was truly unjust (as this was), and he drove over with him, and coached Sam on how to calmly tell this woman that he would no longer be able to work for her because the expectations she had were not in line with the agreement they had made at the beginning of the summer.  The woman began to rant and rave, and my husband stepped in with, "Come on, Sam, we're finished here.  Let's get in the car."

  It was an important moment for Sam.  He learned that you can set a boundary in place, refuse to participate in injustice, but avoid sin at the same time.  It was hard....very hard....for him emotionally, but I am glad that he went though it rather than staying home while his parents went over to straighten it out for him.

  How have you taught your children to balance the need for turning the other cheek with the need for speaking out against injustice?

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  If your challenge is still helping your kids learn to "play nicely" in the first place, Social Skills for Children can really help.  This easy-to-apply article will help your child develop the skills necessary for healthy and fair interaction with others.  Click here to learn more.

• 4 Ways to Create a Healthy Culture for Our Kids

  05 October 2011 / Healthy Living, Homeschool Information, News, Personal Growth, Relationships, Social Skills / 4 Comments

  

  Good, healthy fun.

  Our messed-up American culture is often a contributing factor for parents deciding to homeschool their kids. Why send my kid off to school to learn to about a godless, sexualized, materialistic lifestyle?

  If we can greenhouse them for their formative years, maybe our homeschoolers can develop a Christ-like culture that values love for God, for neighbor, for self!

  Parents can create a Christ-like culture at home, with their co-ops and/or homeschool group classes, and in their churches.

  Here are some things that provide an infrastructure of healthy culture:

  1) Faith- goes without saying. Homeschool is the free-est place to teach and model our faith. (Catch our classic post: 10 Reasons I Homeschool.)

  2) Love- I Corinthians 13 warns us that we can do all kinds of things without love but they are useless. Love is what makes our hard work Christ-like.

  3) Relationship- as Josh McDowell puts it, "Rules without relationship equals rebellion."

  4) Boundaries- This is the pop word for "Good manners". Boundaries help us know when to stop a behavior and when to increase a behavior. Kids first learn these by seeing good manners modeled by their parents. They also benefit by learning specific etiquette and social skills.

  As parents, we have to God-given responsibility to create a culture in our homes that perhaps our kids can replicate as they grow.

  Here's a poem about Culture Creators:

  Creators create.                                                                                                                         

  

  Creating a joyful, adventurous culture

  We are created in God’s image.

  He created with His words.

  We create our culture with our words.

   

  We are created in God’s image.                                                                                                    

  He created the power of relationship.

  We create by the power of our relationships.

   

  We are created in God’s image.

  He created boundaries for land and sea, for roles and relationships.

  We create boundaries in choices and relationships.

   

  We are created in God’s image.                                                                                                                                            

  

  Our homeschoolers will create a better world, Lord willing

  He created by giving.

  We create by giving.

   

  We are created in God’s image.

  He created beauty in nature and spirit.

  We create beauty in and around us.

   

  Creators create.

   

  Question: Homeschool parents, how do you create a healthy culture for your kids?

   

  Congratulations to our Winner Wednesday Winner: Donetta! She commented on our blog and won a download of Human Development.

  Human Development is our etext that explains (from a Christian worldview) how people grow and change from womb to old age. It is a one-credit high school health course.

  Social Skills is also a great investment when developing a family culture. Download our social skills how-tos for just $3.99.

   

• Freedom From the Bubble

  15 June 2011 / Healthy Living, Relationships, Social Skills, Stories, The Home / 9 Comments

  If you’re part of the homeschool world, you probably have some familiarity with “the bubble.”  You want your children to receive the best education possible, so you tailor your teaching to fit each child’s individual needs.  Consciously or unconsciously, you make decisions that affect not only their education but their social, emotional, and spiritual life.

  I know because this is what my mom did for me.

  

  Kyle and family

  I had the privilege of growing up with some of the most awesome friends and teachers because my homeschool community was the perfect environment for me.  In other words, I had an excellent bubble.

   

  The only downside to being inside an excellent bubble is that, in the end, it’s still only a bubble.  At some point you discover that the rest of the world isn’t quite so perfect.  There are people with different values and different beliefs.  There are some people who may not be interested in your individual needs at all.  (Shocking isn’t it?)

  The bubble is safe, but outside the bubble it can get scary.  Growing up is all about moving outside the bubble.  Usually that means graduating from high school, going to college, getting a job, getting married, getting a house, and having kids.  But you can do all of those things and still live in a bubble.  You could do what I did and move from the homeschool bubble to a college that is essentially a larger version of the same bubble.  Your bubble can be whatever you make it.  Your youth group, your Bible study, or your mom’s group could be a bubble.

  Like I said, the bubble is where you feel safe, and safety is a good thing.  God can teach you a lot in friendly, comfortable settings, but that knowledge isn’t much use until you take it outside the bubble.  You can’t grasp the full value of your knowledge until you’re willing to get your feet wet.

  Speaking of getting your feet wet, that’s exactly what Peter had to do before he learned to trust Jesus.  It was one thing to listen to Jesus’ teaching on the safety of the mountain, but it was another to step out of his boat onto a lake in the middle of a storm. Even when he found he could walk on top of the water without drowning, he became afraid when he saw how violent the wind and the waves were.  Think how he must have felt when Jesus saved him and brought him back to the boat.  In that moment Jesus had unmistakably proven everything Peter believed about him.

  

  Kyle: "Aha moment, we're missing the car!"

  Have you experienced that “Aha!” moment where you start to doubt what you know about God only to see him prove himself in a remarkable way?  I have had a few experiences like that this year.  Not only have they helped me to grow in my faith, they have also allowed me to show God’s love to people I never would have interacted with in my own personal bubble.

  Although there are times when a comfortable bubble gives us the security we need, that bubble can keep us from growing and acting on our faith.  If we let it, the bubble becomes a prison.  It’s only when we allow God to burst the bubble that we can experience true freedom.