How to be a Great Homeschool Grad Party Guest

03 May 2013 / Helping Others, High School, Holidays, Social Skills, The Home / 13 Comments

To follow up on Allison's post on how to throw a homeschool graduation party. Here's her sister, Sabrina's ideas on how to be a great grad party guest:

These next few weeks are filled with graduation parties in most of our world. Here are a few tips for enjoying those you attend as a guest (for tips on how to HOST a fabu party, see Allison's post How to Throw a Homeschool Graduation Party):

* Most graduation parties are "open house" style which means your arrival time is not specific. Read the invitation carefully to be sure this is the case, but if it is, plan to come right near the beginning if you can and offer to help the hostess set up last-minute items or carry food out from the kitchen. That last-minute rush is stressful for a lot of hostesses, and if you come with your sleeves rolled up ready to help her, it will also relax her!

* When offering to help, be sure you really mean it. Before you volunteer, put your pocketbook down and use the bathroom if you need to. THEN offer. Chances are your hostess has a million things running through her mind, and she will more easily put you to work right away if she sees you are ready to jump in.

* Visit with the people you know, but try to introduce yourself to a couple of groups who are new to you. Graduation parties tend to be a mix of family, friends, and church....there are always a few folks you haven't met before. It's great to spend an hour with your closest friends, but it's also great to spend 5 minutes reaching out to someone new.

* Most graduation parties are for families....whole families are invited instead of just one or two people. So if your younger children are also partying with you, remind them of good social skills before you arrive, and keep a half-an-eye on them during the party as well. If you notice their behavior getting a little too rambunctious, take them aside and gently remind them that "This is someone's home, and you need to treat it with respect," (or "That little girl may be annoying, but pouring lemonade down her back is rude"....etc.). There's nothing more awkward than being the hostess and agonizing over a child who is behaving badly while the parent is oblivious.

* Greet the grad, but don't monopolize his time. He has probably invited a lot of people to this party, and while he wants to thank each person for coming, he can't do that if he has to have a 1/2 hour conversation with each one about his future plans. Keep things light and brief. If he can talk to you more later, he'll find you.

* Clean up using common sense. Sometimes there are plastic cups all over the backyard. You can safely assume that if the party is winding down, the hostess would love to see the cups picked up and thrown away. You probably don't have to find her and ask for plastic cup protocol. Near the end of the party, the hostess is often exhausted, and may finally be sitting down to enjoy some food herself, and if you come and ask her something as simple as that, she may feel that SHE should get up and do it. If you just use common sense, you will probably be offering real help, and leaving her tired brain out of it.

Just like 7 Sisters blogs are more fun when everyone comments, graduation parties are more fun when everyone pitches in to keep them running smoothly. Unlike a formal dinner party or reception, a graduation party is a great time for casual fellowship and working shoulder to shoulder to set up and clean up.

Congratulations to all our homeschool grads, and happy partying!

For working on social skills with younger kids, check out our Social Skills for Children.

Got any funny graduation party stories?

Unexpected Ministry - When God Surprises You With An Opportunity

29 December 2012 / Helping Others, Holidays, Stories / 0 Comment

I'm a homeschool mom who found herself staying in the lap of luxury in Montego Bay for a wedding two weeks ago!  Here's something amazing that happened while we were there:

We were at a resort in Jamaica.

The weather was a perfect 82 degrees without a cloud in the sky.  The food was amazing and abundant.  My husband Fred and I were in the Caribbean for his daughter Jacki's destination wedding when God surprised us with a ministry opportunity.

The Sandals Foundation, the philanthropic arm of the resort chain at which we were vacationing, plans trips to rural schools in Jamaica to invest in the next generation of citizens.  The poverty in much of Jamaica is astounding, and without a good education the children have little hope of improving their lot in the coming years.

We learned about the Foundation's efforts at a welcome party at our resort where they solicited donations for Christmas gifts and school supplies.  Happy to invest in something worthy (especially where our dollars go so far!), we began talking to the Foundation representative and learned that we could go with her team on the day after Jacki's wedding to visit a school about 45 minutes outside of town.

Thursday morning we rode in a 15-passenger van to the Roehampton Basic School outside Montego Bay, Jamaica to help bring a "Christmas Treat" to the children there.  What an amazing Thursday it was!

80 children ages 2 - 8 go to school there, and they have two classrooms with desks in rows 2-deep in the larger room.  Their teachers were clearly devoted to them, and it was such a joy to serve the children cake and ice cream and play with them at their Christmas Treat.

They were lined up waiting for us when we arrived.

These were some of the most obedient, patient children I have ever seen.

The little girl on the left with the ice cream cone had a loose tooth that she was SO proud of!

I fell in love with this one (and most of the others as well).

Fred made some new friends, too.

Each child received a Christmas present.

Merry Christmas, mon, from Santa and all of us at the Roehampton Basic School, 12/13/12!

You just never know when God will surprise you with the chance to do something really cool!

Have you ever been surprised by a ministry opportunity where you never thought you'd find one?

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Brother Andrew never expected to become God's Smuggler, but God surprised him in a BIG way!

Read his amazing autobiography and get the most out of it with the 7 Sisters literature study guide that accompanies this deeply moving story.

Click here to view excerpts and download from the EBookstore!

The Bridal Shower Tea Party

22 September 2012 / Helping Others, Stories / 5 Comments

I hosted a garden tea party for my beautiful niece Kaitlyn's bridal shower....yup, that's Allison's oldest, and she's getting married in just a few days!

You may not be as impressed as you should be by the news that we had a bridal shower garden tea party at my house.

You see, I LOVE to have people over.  Our house rarely has just our family in it.  I've even had teenagers crawl in the through the doggy door on more than one occasion.  But my mode of entertaining is casual.  If you're here, you're family.  (Please take the trash out to the curb, would ya?  Trash man will be here in the morning....)

When Allison's youngest, Hannah the awesome maid-of-honor, said, "Aunt Sabrina, how about a garden tea party in your backyard?  Kaitlyn and Tom met working at a tea room, and Uncle Fred's gardens look so pretty," I couldn't help but say, "Absolutely!"  It was a great idea!

Romantic, botanical, and delicious!

Then it hit me; I don't know how to do fancy.  I'm good at grilling hot dogs, but making cucumber sandwiches?  Make yourself a snack if you like, but Devonshire cream?  Was I in over my head???

My daughter Bekah (Marilyn's daughter-in-law, incidentally), Kaitlyn and Hannah. Are they cousins or sisters? YES to both!

Then I remembered:  COMMUNITY! 

We've always homeschooled in community with other families.  We have our church family.  Allison's kids and mine have grown up siblings as much as cousins.  I wasn't trying to do this garden tea party alone....I had PEOPLE!  That community of loving people made it turn out beautiful, elegant, fun, and sweet.

With many hands (and brains) making light (and creative) work, here are a few shots from the event.  I must credit Allison's sister in law Joan Thorp for the wonderful photographs on display here.  I got her permission to steal them, and I'm so glad she was willing to permit my theft!

That's Kaitlyn on the left, the bride-to-be, and her precious little-sister-maid-of-honor Hannah Joy on the right.

They grew up sharing a room, sharing a homeschool, arguing, laughing, and loving one another.  I think my nieces are pretty terrific.

Not to be outdone for "cute sister pictures," Allie and I had to pose for the camera.

I have been remarkably blessed to have this woman on the right as my sister, my homeschool buddy, my business partner, and truly, truly my dear friend.

Allison, you are going to survive this mother-of-the-bride thing; I promise!

We had two enormous tents loaned to us, and it proved to be a really good thing because the weather was iffy all day.  While it never truly rained on us, it misted and drizzled on and off.  That kept the heat manageable, and the tents kept us dry.  The church my family attends loaned us all the tables and chairs we needed.

Something went glitchy with Kaitlyn's bridal registry at Target, so she got a lot of waffle makers.  But hey, who doesn't like waffles?

I gave her lingerie, because what new groom doesn't like lingerie...and waffles?

The cake was amazing, filled with some kind of delightful raspberry jam between the layers.

Hannah framed pictures of the couple (the "H" is for their last name...not for "Hannah" as we were all teasing her!).

Thanks to the love and support of so many, we made a terrific memory!

And filled Fred's two shiny new wheelbarrows with gifts at the end of the day!

Free Study Guide today only in honor of Great Christian Writer Joni Eareckson Tada

30 July 2012 / Give-Aways, Helping Others, Literature / 1 Comment

Today 7 Sisters Homeschool joins Joni Eareckson Tada in marking a milestone anniversary in her life.

This marks the 45th anniversary of the diving accident that left her paralyzed from the neck down.  God's provision for her as she has lived life with quadriplegia is one of the most remarkable testimonies of our generation.

Joni's autobiography Joni: An Unforgettable Story is one of the Great Christian Writers titles for which we offer a study guide.  Today only we are offering it free in our EBookstore.  Use coupon code JONI45 at checkout and your discount will show after you scroll down to finalize your purchase.

Please take a moment to visit the Joni and Friends website today in honor of the 45 years Joni has testified to the grace of God from her wheelchair.

During this summer season of swimming and other water sports, it's important to understand the dangers and how to avoid them.  Just a few weeks ago one of my favorite cashiers at our local grocery store, a young man named Stephen in his early twenties, dove into shallow water in his friend's swimming pool and broke his neck.  By the grace of God he was not paralyzed, and is making a rapid recovery; yesterday I saw him without his neck brace for the first time since the accident!  But we would all be wise to be reminded of the guidelines for safely enjoying swimming this summer.  Click here to follow a link to the Joni and Friends article about spinal cord injury prevention.

Join us each day this week for blog posts to help you gear up for homeschool with your elementary and middle schoolers....or join the conversation with some tips of your own if you have already completed those action-packed, crazy homeschool years!

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Have you seen our new EBookstore layout?

Our categories now make finding your curriculum easier; even our literature study guides have been separated into Classics and Great Christian Writers.  Click here for unique, adaptable curriculum that downloads to your computer in an instant!

As always, no shipping fees, no waiting for your items to be delivered,
and our 10-Day-No-Quetsions-Asked Money-Back-Guarantee on all curriculum from 7 Sisters!

Homeschool Grad's Reflections on Volunteering

26 July 2012 / Helping Others, Literature / 0 Comment

Bekah and her husband Casey

Rebekah Groop graduated from homeschool in 2010. 

While her academic pursuits were extremely important to her during high school, her transcript was about much more than just those credits.  Here are her thoughts about experiences she has had volunteering since homeschool graduation, and the importance her well-rounded homeschool experience had in preparing her for adult life.

Volunteering at MSB

by Rebekah Groop

No matter how far away we may move from school, the lessons we learn as children and youth stick with us. After hundreds of hours of volunteer work in high school, I went to Towson University ready to focus purely on academics and pursue a competitive and grueling double major in Deaf Studies and Elementary Education. But somehow, working 30 hours a week and going to school full-time was still not fulfilling enough, and volunteering crept back into my lifestyle.

I was interviewed and accepted to work as a volunteer at The Maryland School for the Blind (MSB), working one day a week for 4-5 hours during the spring semester of my sophomore year. This was a great opportunity, since I would be helping in a school and learning to work alongside children with disabilities.

Initially I spent a lot of time standing by a shredder, hearing the buzz of gears ripping paper into anonymous garbage hour after hour. When I wasn’t shredding paper, I was restocking it, counting it, organizing it, followed by more shredding. After I had cleaned out a lot of old, confidential records, I moved from related services to the head of administration where I worked on very elaborate and complicated projects, and my volunteering became much more serious business.
I can’t say it was glamorous work, or even fun. My hands got chapped and cut from all the paper I dealt with, and I frequently found myself confused or overwhelmed by the tasks given to me.

Unfamiliar equipment and tasks that required knowledge about the school far beyond what I possessed were always present, and these things frustrated me. But this frustration was a great tool in learning to be flexible and work with I have in front of me, an exceptionally important piece to my future career as a teacher.

Part of having a servant’s heart is being flexible. I made a lot of mistakes and had several embarrassing moments, but volunteering for MSB was a great way to practice for the future when my paycheck and career depend on my ability to be flexible and work with others.

A pretty diploma is wonderful, but without any real-world experience, my first job post-college would be much more difficult, and my efforts at MSB really pushed me to remain confident in myself, despite having little control over the tasks I was given or the circumstances in which I found myself.

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Exposing our homeschoolers to lots of varied opportunities for volunteering is a great life-equipping tool.

Even the books we choose for their literature classes can include works that inspire them to serve others.  Have you checked out the titles in our literature study guides for books by great Christian writers?  Click here to view these affordable guides, adaptable for individual or group use.

What volunteer experiences have been a good fit for your homeschooler?

"Joni: An Unforgettable Story" and Being Sensitive to Special Needs

14 June 2012 / Differences, Helping Others, Literature, News / 1 Comment

Here is a post about Joni Eareckson Tada's life, with our recommendation to include her autobiography in your homeschool reading plan for next year -- what a powerful book!

We hope you'll also be blessed by advice for teaching your children to be sensitive to individuals with physical disabilities and other special needs.

Have you downloaded our literature study guide for Joni Eareckson Tada's autobiography, Joni: An Unforgettable Story? Click here to view excerpts from this study guide with comprehension questions, supplemental resources and answer key for just $3.99.

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God has an amazing sense of timing, doesn't He? He always brings the pieces of life together for us in just the right time for us to get the most learning and blessing out of the puzzle.

About a year ago, I compiled the book list for a Great Christian Writers class that I would be teaching to homeschooled high schoolers in our area in 2011-12. On that list I included a book that had a huge impact on me when I was a teen: Joni: An Unforgettable Story by Joni Eareckson Tada.

Joni broke her neck in 1967 at the age of 17, and the resulting quadriplegia that "should have" ruined her life instead opened the doors for international ministry that has led countless people to Christ and provided wheelchairs and care for disabled people of all ages worldwide. Joni's personal ministry and that of the organization she founded, Joni and Friends, are introduced at the end of the book I chose for our class. I slated the book for the late-winter/early-spring slump when the kids begin to tire of school. I knew this book would inspire them out of their slump! Little did I know how much MORE God had in mind with the timing.

One week before our syllabus called for the students to read Joni's autobiography, our homeschool community was deeply grieved when the 23 year old son of one of our homeschool friends went home to be with the Lord after a battle with Ewing's Sarcoma bone cancer. Our day-school (offering high school classes for homeschoolers in community 2 days per week) had been deeply involved with this family, and we were all impacted with grief and confusion and pain. Many of our teens (and lots of adults, too, whether they said it aloud or not) were confused and hurt; why hadn't the Lord healed Joseph when we had all prayed and believed in our God's healing power? Joseph loved Him passionately, and testified to His goodness; wouldn't it have been a tremendous miracle for God to raise him up when the doctors had no more that they could do?

Right at this vulnerable moment, the syllabus for our literature class called for the students to read Joni's story. In chapter 13 of her book, Joni deals with this question in her own life, and her thoughts and experiences as she waits to be made physically whole in God's perfect timing (here or in heaven, whichever He deems best) ministered to our hurting hearts 26 years after her book was written.

But God wasn't finished weaving my days together yet!

The following week I traveled with Marilyn and Kym to the Teach Them Diligently Convention in Spartanburg, SC. We were excited to exhibit in the vendor hall and share a workshop about using Drama in your homeschool (click the link for a FREE download of the workshop handout). We had plans to meet IRL ("in real life") friends we have made here on our blog and other homeschooling blogs in the past year. Our plans were good, but God had even more to offer us!

I was able to slip out of the vendor booth long enough to attend the workshop "Open the Eyes of Their Hearts" about developing a heart f0r individuals with special needs and physical disabilities. Joyce from Joni and Friends spoke with warmth and intelligence about the many ways the church and homeschoolers can minister to those with special needs and their families. Marilyn and I spent a wonderful hour at her booth later talking about this often-overlooked mission field.

I returned to my homeschool literature class with an extra assignment for the students. I sent them to the Joni and Friends website to do a little research on the 13 ministry divisions they have, and I asked the students to write about the ministry that captured their hearts the most. It was exciting to read how some of them were drawn to Wheels for the World, the ministry that takes wheelchairs to underdeveloped countries. Others were excited to learn about Through the Roof , equipping the church for disability ministry and outreach.

But what excites me most is this: the majority of the kids were drawn to Family Retreats, the ministry that hosts week-long retreats for disabled folks and their families, and trains volunteers on short-term missions to be a "buddy" to a camper with a disability for the week.

A whole new arena for missions trips has opened up in front of us, and I pray that several of our homeschool teens will explore it. Here's a link to the Joni and Friends site explaining how these "buddy" short-term missions work for volunteers 17 and older (there are also volunteer opportunities for younger teens). The cost is a fraction of what is necessary to go overseas on a missions trip, and while overseas missions is necessary to fulfilling the Great Commission, so is ministry here in the U.S. Joni and Friends Family Retreats are an exciting possibility to explore in choosing a mission on which your teen can serve.

For the study guide I wrote to accompany Joni: An Unforgettable Story, visit the EBookstore. Priced at just $3.99 it contains background information, comprehension questions by chapter, suggestions for supplemental activities, and an answer key.

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Parenting a child with special needs is no easy job, and I have the utmost respect for these parents.

I also have the responsibility to equip my own kids to understand how to appropriately interact with peers with special needs.

Here are some suggestions for helping young people become confident in reaching out to build relationships with peers who may look, sound, communicate, process information or move differently than they do.

* PRAY. One of the things we need to pray for our own kids is that they would grow in love for others, and grow in understanding those who may be confusing or frustrating to them in their flesh. By beginning with prayer (in this endeavor, and in all things) we are going to the Source of all love, and asking Him to enlarge our children's hearts to extend love to all men.

* TALK AHEAD OF TIME. Sometimes we fail to talk to our kids about physical disabilities, speech impairments, autism, mental retardation, or the myriad other challenges that are a part of everyday life for many individuals but may not occur in our own immediate world. Intentionally introduce the subject of ministering in love to people with special needs in your homeschool. Use video, books, and conversation to honestly and fearlessly explore the topic.

Allow your kids to begin with using whatever words they need to in expressing their feelings when they think about interacting with someone with special needs. If they say things like "weird," or "scary" or "embarrassing" in this private conversational context, they are not being mean -- they have to be able to honestly articulate how they feel in their flesh in order to recognize that they need something more, something from God, in order to deal with relationships that are out of their comfort zone. When you make it safe for them to admit that they are intimidated by certain situations, you can then lovingly show them that Christ is our strength in weakness, and that we need to ask Him to equip us to reach out in love, to change our view of people who are different than us, and to teach us to minister to them in His love.

If I wait until a situation is unexpectedly thrust upon my child, I have done him (and the person with special needs) a great disservice. My child needs to be equipped through conversation and research before the situation is in front of him.

* BE DIRECT. Every individual with special needs is just that: an INDIVIDUAL with special needs. There is no cookie-cutter that can be applied to a person because of a diagnosis. The vast majority of people with special needs appreciate direct questions like, "Is there a way that I can help with this, or do you prefer that I stay out of your way?" Asking the parent of a child with special needs very basic questions like, "What kinds of help may I offer your child?" will do more equipping in a few moments than weeks of fumbling and fearing offense.

If the child or parent is taken aback by your question, don't be offended. That is simply your answer; this is a person for whom help from strangers or casual acquaintances is not desired. Typically this type of reaction is NOT what you will get, but sometimes an individual or family is in the process of emotional adjustment to the special needs, and may not be comfortable to talk about it with you. If you have asked the question in love, you can rest assured that you have not really offended, only offered help and been told that it is not needed at this time.

* DON'T CRINGE. If your children are young, they are likely to ask something of a person with special needs (especially visible physical disabilities) that may make you want to cringe. Of a person with atrophied limbs, "Why do you legs look like that?" is not an insult, it's a genuine request for information. The person who is dealing with those atrophied limbs every moment of every day is likely to simply answer the question. Don't make the situation complicated by jumping in to answer for them unless they seem unwilling to answer for themselves. Following up with a gentle word of appreciation for the information validates everyone involved.

* GET SPECIFIC WHEN YOU NEED TO. An ongoing relationship (a co-op, a Sunday school class, a drama production) with someone with special needs will result in specific challenges where a solution will not be obvious. Pray, take a deep breath, and deal with them specifically when they arise. The longer you put off asking the awkward question or suggesting the delicate suggestion the harder it will be for everyone.

A hygiene issue arose in a play I directed in which a teenage student on the autism spectrum was unable to process my instructions to the whole cast about being diligent in using deodorant when we were working up a sweat close to one another onstage. (Honestly, our church sanctuary where we held rehearsals was beginning to smell like a locker room!) I had already spoken to the parents to make sure that the student was able to use deodorant, and I knew that the parents had sent a stick in to rehearsal. But group admonitions like, "Wow, guys, we are really work hard here and it's starting to smell like it! May I tactfully suggest we all check our deodorant?" were lost. The response I got was a big smile: "I made sure I put it on when I got out of the shower!"

What to do? How to breathe? The other students were struggling mightily with the situation. I prayed, I took my student leaders in the cast aside privately and explained the new plan to them, and then I turned the challenge into a new cast-bonding activity. In a cast meeting, I explained that as we approached opening night the sweat was getting out of control, and we would have to re-apply deodorant whenever I called for it. Regardless of when you last put it on, it would be an act of cast solidarity to add a little more when asked to. My student leaders piped in with encouragement to everyone - "I make sure I shower and put on deodorant before rehearsal, and I STILL am getting smelly by the end of the first hour. I think re-applying during rehearsal is a good idea."

Guess what? It worked beautifully! "RE-APPLY!!" became a rallying cry for the cast. I would call it out, or one of the student leaders who noticed things "going south" onstage would start it, and before you know it every member of the cast was calling it out in response, marching merrily to their duffle bags to pull out a stick of deodorant. It was the craziest thing; what could have ostracized a student became a rallying point for everyone in the cast.

* ADDRESS YOUR OWN FEARS. Sometimes we struggle to equip our kids to deal appropriately with special needs because we ourselves are uneasy or face fears of our own related to the particular disability or challenge. Be honest with God first about your fears. Then find someone with whom you can share honestly about your struggle. Seek education for yourself via the internet or community resources. Joni and Friends has fantastic resources for understanding individuals with physical disabilities. Autism Help offers good information about spectrum disorders.

What has helped you equip yourself and your homeschoolers to minister lovingly to individuals with special needs?

Review: Something Beautiful for God

03 May 2012 / Helping Others, Literature, Reviews / 2 Comments

Note:  This is not a sponsored post.  We just like to periodically blog about resources we have enjoyed in our own homeschools. This is a classic post.

Originally published in 1971, this little book by journalist and apologist Malcolm Muggeridge was written after Muggeridge produced a documentary movie of the same name about the work done by Mother Teresa of Calcutta and the Missionaries of Charity.  These Roman Catholic nuns minister to the poorest of the poor and the dying all over the world, but their order began in Calcutta, India, and the story of Mother Teresa's burden to begin this ministry is inspiring and challenging on a deep level for Catholics and Protestants alike.  As followers of Jesus Christ, all Christians are told that any service done "to the least of these" is received by Christ Himself.

The book is divided into four sections.

• Part I is Malcolm Muggeridge's own account of his acquaintance with Mother Teresa and the work in Calcutta.  It contains much of his own personal reflections about her as a person, the work the Missionaries of Charity accomplish against all odds, and the tremendous impact this acquaintance had on him as a man of faith.
• Part II is a series of 18 brief devotions written by Mother Teresa on various aspects of a life of faith in Christ.
• Part III is the transcript of an interview Muggeridge conducted with Mother Teresa and others in the order.
• Part IV is Muggeridge offering closing thoughts on doing "something beautiful for God."

I read this book with our day-school class of 28 high school-aged homeschoolers earlier this year, and it was fodder for some really good class discussion.  I prepared a study guide with vocabulary and questions that the kids prepared ahead of time (click here to download it from the EBookstore), and they were then ready to intelligently discuss ideas like:

• Why does Mother Teresa think that government welfare is important, but it can never replace the ministry to the poor that Christians can do?
• How, by their own account, do the Missionaries of Charity minister WITH JOY under such overwhelmingly ugly circumstances?
• What does Mother Teresa mean when she says, "I do not agree with the big way of doing things"?

In a world where our culture idolizes selfish living, reading and discussing this book with homeschoolers proved to be a great tool for stirring a hunger for service and sacrifice. 

What books can you recommend to stir our hearts toward service?

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Muggeridge's documentary movie and famous television interview with Mother Teresa were part of the inspiration for my play, A Weekend in Calcutta.  To download a sample copy of the play for just $0.99, click here.

The study guidethat was written to enhance the understanding and appreciation of Something Beautiful for God is now available for download in the EBookstore.  Click here!

Now, here is Sabrina's Vlog about why you need literature study guides:

My Identity

11 April 2012 / Career Exploration, Helping Others, Personal Growth / 1 Comment

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:9-11 - NIV)

I am a single, adoptive, biological, homeschooling mom. And, yet, this isn’t really what I am, this is what I do. I am a child of the King, created for good works. God prepared them for me - before I was even born. This is where I should be finding my identity.

Visiting Hobbiton with my daughter

Let me back up a bit. My oldest daughter has been known to say that I “set an impossibly high standard”. This is a compliment (sort of). So, I’ve been giving this some thought. I’ve come to the conclusion that I may (or not) have been setting an example of some high standards, but I have not been setting these standards for her. You see, my job is to follow God’s direction for my life. Her job is to follow God’s direction for hers. Each of us has a plan (a plan to prosper and not harm, to give us a hope and a future) that has been set in place by the God of the universe. How cool is that?

Perhaps I have not emphasized this enough for my children. Their identity does not come from being a part of my family. It does not come from being homeschoolers, or soccer players, or musicians, or actors. It comes because God has a plan for each of them. He sees each individual’s strengths and weaknesses. He sees each individual’s potential. He sees what can be accomplished through His strength.

One of the blessings of parenting is to help each child find and develop his or her strengths. As homeschoolers, we can incorporate these activities into our daily lives and integrate it into our education.

How well are you helping your child find and follow God’s plan? Are you encouraging his strengths, while helping him overcome or compensate for weaknesses? After you have done that, are you willing to get out of the way and let God direct his paths?

If your high school student is struggling with finding a direction for after high school, perhaps you can encourage

Check out "Career Exploration" in our E-Bookstore

him to branch out and try some new things. We have some resources in our bookstore that can help. Check out Career Exploration, Introduction from Psychology from a Christian Viewpoint, Human Development from a Christian Worldview, or some of our drama resources.

Equipping Homeschoolers to be Sensitive to Special Needs

03 April 2012 / Autism Spectrum, Differences, Helping Others, Relationships, Special Needs / 2 Comments

Parenting a child with special needs is no easy job, and I have the utmost respect for these parents.  I also have the responsibility to equip my own kids to understand how to appropriately interact with peers with special needs.  Here are some suggestions for helping young people become confident in reaching out to build relationships with peers who may look, sound, communicate, process information or move differently than they do.

*  PRAY.  One of the things we need to pray for our own kids is that they would grow in love for others, and grow in understanding those who may be confusing or frustrating to them in their flesh.  By beginning with prayer (in this endeavor, and in all things) we are going to the Source of all love, and asking Him to enlarge our children's hearts to extend love to all men.

*  TALK AHEAD OF TIME.  Sometimes we fail to talk to our kids about physical disabilities, speech impairments, autism, mental retardation, or the myriad other challenges that are a part of everyday life for many individuals but may not occur in our own immediate world.  Intentionally introduce the subject of ministering in love to people with special needs in your homeschool.  Use video, books, and conversation to honestly and fearlessly explore the topic.

Allow your kids to begin with using whatever words they need to in expressing their feelings when they think about interacting with someone with special needs.  If they say things like "weird," or "scary" or "embarrassing" in this private conversational context, they are not being mean -- they have to be able to honestly articulate how they feel in their flesh in order to recognize that they need something more, something from God, in order to deal with relationships that are out of their comfort zone.  When you make it safe for them to admit that they are intimidated by certain situations, you can then lovingly show them that Christ is our strength in weakness, and that we need to ask Him to equip us to reach out in love, to change our view of people who are different than us, and to teach us to minister to them in His love.

If I wait until a situation is unexpectedly thrust upon my child, I have done him (and the person with special needs) a great disservice.  My child needs to be equipped through conversation and research before the situation is in front of him.

*  BE DIRECT.  Every individual with special needs is just that:  an INDIVIDUAL with special needs.  There is no cookie-cutter that can be applied to a person because of a diagnosis.  The vast majority of people with special needs appreciate direct questions like, "Is there a way that I can help with this, or do you prefer that I stay out of your way?"  Asking the parent of a child with special needs very basic questions like, "What kinds of help may I offer your child?" will do more equipping in a few moments than weeks of fumbling and fearing offense.

If the child or parent is taken aback by your question, don't be offended.  That is simply your answer; this is a person for whom help from strangers or casual acquaintances is not desired.  Typically this type of reaction is NOT what you will get, but sometimes an individual or family is in the process of emotional adjustment to the special needs, and may not be comfortable to talk about it with you.  If you have asked the question in love, you can rest assured that you have not really offended, only offered help and been told that it is not needed at this time.

*  DON'T CRINGE.  If your children are young, they are likely to ask something of a person with special needs (especially visible physical disabilities) that may make you want to cringe.  Of a person with atrophied limbs, "Why do you legs look like that?" is not an insult, it's a genuine request for information.  The person who is dealing with those atrophied limbs every moment of  every day is likely to simply answer the question.  Don't make the situation complicated by jumping in to answer for them unless they seem unwilling to answer for themselves.  Following up with a gentle word of appreciation for the information validates everyone involved.

*  GET SPECIFIC WHEN YOU NEED TO.  An ongoing relationship (a co-op, a Sunday school class, a drama production) with someone with special needs will result in specific challenges where a solution will not be obvious.  Pray, take a deep breath, and deal with them specifically when they arise.  The longer you put off asking the awkward question or suggesting the delicate suggestion the harder it will be for everyone.

A hygiene issue arose in a play I directed in which a teenage student on the autism spectrum was unable to process my instructions to the whole cast about being diligent in using deodorant when we were working up a sweat close to one another onstage.  (Honestly, our church sanctuary where we held rehearsals was beginning to smell like a locker room!)  I had already spoken to the parents to make sure that the student was able to use deodorant, and I knew that the parents had sent a stick in to rehearsal.  But group admonitions like, "Wow, guys, we are really work hard here and it's starting to smell like it!  May I tactfully suggest we all check our deodorant?" were lost.  The response I got was a big smile:  "I made sure I put it on when I got out of the shower!"

What to do?  How to breathe?  The other students were struggling mightily with the situation.  I prayed, I took my student leaders in the cast aside privately and explained the new plan to them, and then I turned the challenge into a new cast-bonding activity.  In a cast meeting, I explained that as we approached opening night the sweat was getting out of control, and we would have to re-apply deodorant whenever I called for it.  Regardless of when you last put it on, it would  be an act of cast solidarity to add a little more when asked to.  My student leaders piped in with encouragement to everyone - "I make sure I shower and put on deodorant before rehearsal, and I STILL am getting smelly by the end of the first hour.  I think re-applying during rehearsal is a good idea."

Guess what?  It worked beautifully!  "RE-APPLY!!" became a rallying cry for the cast.  I would call it out, or one of the student leaders who noticed things "going south" onstage would start it, and before you know it every member of the cast was calling it out in response, marching merrily to their duffle bags to pull out a stick of deodorant.  It was the craziest thing; what could have ostracized a student became a rallying point for everyone in the cast.

*  ADDRESS YOUR OWN FEARS.  Sometimes we struggle to equip our kids to deal appropriately with special needs because we ourselves are uneasy or face fears of our own related to the particular disability or challenge.  Be honest with God first about your fears.  Then find someone with whom you can share honestly about your struggle.  Seek education for yourself via the internet or community resources.  Joni and Friends has fantastic resources for understanding individuals with physical disabilities.  Autism Help offers good information about spectrum disorders.

What has helped you equip yourself and your homeschoolers to minister lovingly to individuals with special needs?

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Have you downloaded our new literature study guide for Joni Eareckson Tada's autobiography, Joni: An Unforgettable Story?  Click here to view excerpts from this study guide with comprehension questions, supplemental resources and answer key for just $3.99.

Short-Term Missions Opportunities: Joni and Friends

30 March 2012 / Conventions, Differences, Helping Others, High School, Literature / 1 Comment

God has an amazing sense of timing, doesn't He?  He always brings the pieces of life together for us in just the right time for us to get the most learning and blessing out of the puzzle.

About a year ago, I compiled the book list for a Great Christian Writers class that I would be teaching to homeschooled high schoolers in our area in 2011-12.  On that list I included a book that had a huge impact on me when I was a teen:  Joni: An Unforgettable Story by Joni Eareckson Tada.

Joni broke her neck in 1967 at the age of 17, and the resulting quadriplegia that "should have" ruined her life instead opened the doors for international ministry that has led countless people to Christ and provided wheelchairs and care for disabled people of all ages worldwide.  Joni's personal ministry and that of the organization she founded, Joni and Friends, are introduced at the end of the book I chose for our class.  I slated the book for the late-winter/early-spring slump when the kids begin to tire of school.  I knew this book would inspire them out of their slump!  Little did I know how much MORE God had in mind with the timing.

One week before our syllabus called for the students to read Joni's autobiography, our homeschool community was deeply grieved when the 23 year old son of one of our homeschool friends went home to be with the Lord after a battle with Ewing's Sarcoma bone cancer.  Our day-school (offering high school classes for homeschoolers in community 2 days per week) had been deeply involved with this family, and we were all impacted with grief and confusion and pain.   Many of our teens (and lots of adults, too, whether they said it aloud or not) were confused and hurt; why hadn't the Lord healed Joseph when we had all prayed and believed in our God's healing power?  Joseph loved Him passionately, and testified to His goodness; wouldn't it have been a tremendous miracle for God to raise him up when the doctors had no more that they could do?

Right at this vulnerable moment, the syllabus for our literature class called for the students to read Joni's story.  In chapter 13 of her book, Joni deals with this question in her own life, and her thoughts and experiences as she waits to be made physically whole in God's perfect timing (here or in heaven, whichever He deems best) ministered to our hurting hearts 26 years after her book was written.

But God wasn't finished weaving my days together yet!

The following week I traveled with Marilyn and Kym to the Teach Them Diligently Convention in Spartanburg, SC.  We were excited to exhibit in the vendor hall and share a workshop about using Drama in your homeschool (click the link for a FREE download of the workshop handout).  We had plans to meet IRL ("in real life") friends we have made here on our blog and other homeschooling blogs in the past year.  Our plans were good, but God had even more to offer us!

I was able to slip out of the vendor booth long enough to attend the workshop "Open the Eyes of Their Hearts" about developing a heart f0r individuals with special needs and physical disabilities.  Joyce from Joni and Friends spoke with warmth and intelligence about the many ways the church and homeschoolers can minister to those with special needs and their families.  Marilyn and I spent a wonderful hour at her booth later talking about this often-overlooked mission field.

I returned to my homeschool literature class with an extra assignment for the students.  I sent them to the Joni and Friends website to do a little research on the 13 ministry divisions they have, and I asked the students to write about the ministry that captured their hearts the most.  It was exciting to read how some of them were drawn to Wheels for the World, the ministry that takes wheelchairs to underdeveloped countries.  Others were excited to learn about Through the Roof , equipping the church for disability ministry and outreach.

But what excites me most is this:  the majority of the kids were drawn to Family Retreats, the ministry that hosts week-long retreats for disabled folks and their families, and trains volunteers on short-term missions to be a "buddy" to a camper with a disability for the week.

A whole new arena for missions trips has opened up in front of us, and I pray that several of our homeschool teens will explore it.  Here's a link to the Joni and Friends site explaining how these "buddy" short-term missions work for volunteers 17 and older (there are also volunteer opportunities for younger teens).  The cost is a fraction of what is necessary to go overseas on a missions trip, and while overseas missions is necessary to fulfilling the Great Commission, so is ministry here in the U.S.  Joni and Friends Family Retreats are an exciting possibility to explore in choosing a mission on which your teen can serve.

For the study guide I wrote to accompany Joni: An Unforgettable Story, visit the EBookstore.   Priced at just $3.99 it contains background information, comprehension questions by chapter, suggestions for supplemental activities, and an answer key.